the earth stood still

17th April 2012

Post with 6 notes

You know those times when a stranger comes up to you and your friends in Trader Joe’s to  tell you that you’re egotistical before carrying on with his night? You know those times? No? That’s because they don’t happen. Except they do, because it happened to me tonight, and now I’m here to talk about it on my egotistical blog.

If you’re confused, there really isn’t much more to the story. I stood in an aisle with a few friends - Sara and I talking about lavender ice cream, and Natalie and Michelle most likely continuing with our “are vitamins really good for you” ponderings. Evidently a man stood wordlessly nearby waiting for us to make way so he could pass, however our lack of omniscience or superhuman hearing capable of detecting his soft breaths deterred us from doing so and we so rudely (but so accidentally) failed to move for the man to get by. Only God and the man himself know how long he stood there before begrudgingly saying, “excuse me,” but alas, he finally did.

[Now, I’m not all about mindlessly falling into social constructs for the heck of it, but I feel like “excuse me” is a bit indisputably necessary in times such as these. To put it quite simply, the phrase wouldn’t have been invented hadn’t there been a need for it, and clearly this time is one of said need.]

So the man says “excuse me.” We naturally respond with the appropriate shuffle to the side and a kind apology, and before I could continue exposing Sara to the world of lavender ice cream we were confronted with this:

“You girls are just so egotistical. I was going to stand there and wait to see how long it took you to notice me standing there, but I knew all along you girls were just too egotistical to notice.” The man then walked away as we stood there with mouths open.

I’m not one to be at a loss for words. The number of times I’ve had absolutely nothing to say about something is limited to one instance, which took place last week when I saw Titanic and actually couldn’t speak between loud sobs and gasps for air. Other than that, I have a fairly constant flow of thoughts going through my head, and though I may not always let them turn to speech they are always ready to fire.

I was not ready to fire.

I could write this blog about the man’s snap judgment that labeled us egotistical. I could write it about how he felt he needed to prove it (really, it was weird), or how ridiculous it is to say what he said to four girls who look roughly sixteen. I could write a lengthy, moralistic blog about how he’s right, that we’re all egotistical, that we should all really examine our values and intentions at length and change for the better. But really, that’s not the point I want to make.

I still don’t have much to say about what happened. After I got over the horrible injustice that was someone thinking anything negative about me (God forbid), I started to think about how bad this man’s day must have been. I know it takes more than a bad day to give strangers “constructive” criticism they didn’t ask for, but those comments aren’t shared on good days, and it reminded me how much is going on around me - which, oddly enough, is exactly what the man accused us of missing. Now, by no means did I gather any of that from his comment, which I still think and forever will think was just really rude. But it’s nice to remember sometimes how much people are feeling while I’m going about my day. So oddly enough, the man’s mission was accomplished.

(I still hope he never finds out.)

7th February 2012

Post with 4 notes

Glennon Melton’s take on bullying

I’ve been watching America’s response to recent bullying-related suicides closely. People seem quite shocked by the cruelty that’s happening in our schools. I’m confused by their shock. I’m also concerned about what’s not being addressed in the proposed solutions to this devastating problem.

The usual response seems to be that we need to better educate students and teachers about what bullying is and how to react appropriately to it. You can’t argue with that. But on its own, it seems a little like bailing water frantically without looking for the hole in the boat.

Each time one of these stories is reported we tend to say some version of “Kids these days — they can be so cruel.” But I think this is just a phrase we toss around to excuse ourselves from facing the truth. I don’t think kids are any crueler than adults. I just think kids aren’t quite as adept at disguising their cruelty.

Yesterday I heard a radio report that the students most likely to be bullied are gay kids, overweight kids and Muslim kids.

Hmmmmm.

I would venture a guess that gay adults, overweight adults and Muslim adults feel the most bullied as well.
Children are not cruel. Children are mirrors. They want to be “grown-up.” So they act how grown-ups act when we think they’re not paying attention. They believe what we believe. They say what we say. And we have taught them that gay people are not okay. That overweight people are not okay. That Muslim people are not okay. Through our words and actions we send the message that these people aren’t equal and they should be feared. We know that people hurt the things they fear. What kids are doing in the schools, is what adults do in the media. The only difference is that children bully in the hallways and the cafeterias while we bully from behind pulpits and legislative benches and in one-liners on sitcoms.

People are heart-breakingly sensitive. If enough people tell someone over and over that he is not okay, he will believe it. And one way or another, he will die.

So how is any of this surprising? It’s quite predictable, actually. It’s trickle-down cruelty.

I don’t know much. But I know that each time I see something heartbreaking on the news, each time I encounter a problem outside, the answer to the problem is inside. The problem is ALWAYS me and the solution is ALWAYS me. If I want my world to be less vicious, then I must become more gentle. If I want my children to embrace other children for who they are, to treat other children with the dignity and respect every child of God deserves, then I had better treat other adults the same way. And I better make sure that my children know beyond a shadow of a doubt that in God’s and their father’s and my eyes, they are okay. They are fine. They are loved as they are. Without a single unless. Because the kids who bully are those who are afraid that a secret part of themselves is not okay.

5th January 2012

Question with 3 notes

Anonymous asked: why do you love spu? why would you encourage people to choose spu?

Oh dear, I have a lot of things to say about that. Hm. Okay.

I definitely love SPU for myself. I faced a bit of an internal conflict when choosing schools where I loved the idea of meeting many kinds of people but also liked the classes offered at Christian colleges as well as the community. Unfortunately, sometimes those two values conflict, but I felt at SPU I could find a good balance of both. For me, having Christian community within a city provides a great balance of being surrounded by somewhat likeminded people while having the opportunity constantly to engage in interaction with endless others as well. On top of all this, I have been able to take classes I love, sign up for study abroad, get involved easily since the campus is smaller, make close connections with others for the same reason, and have an experience away from the one I grew up with.

For all these reasons, however, I wouldn’t necessarily “encourage” EVERYONE to choose SPU. Everyone looks for different things in schools and for those who look for similar characteristics that I did, I would definitely strongly encourage SPU. I know some who have gone to schools like Biola and loved it for the Bible minor and strictly Christian community, and I have known others who have gone to public school and loved that there was such a broad spectrum of people and faiths present. Some would rather be closer to home and family (which, if I’m honest, is difficult at times though I don’t regret it), some want to get to the farthest point on planet Earth from their hometown. I guess the most important thing is that people looking into colleges really examine the differences between the schools they are looking at and determine which values mean the most to them. Those values will change over time, even in college, but by determining what holds the most value, the right school will stand out.

So, moral of all of that, I love SPU, and would encourage anyone to at least check it out, even if just to get a better idea of what they want and don’t want out of a school in general. If you have any more specific questions I would love to answer them, and it may be easier to do so if I know who you are. But thanks for asking! It’s helpful to be reminded every once in a while what I have to be grateful for, and SPU is definitely one of those things.